Years ago I had a conversation with someone who was reminding me about the importance of taking care of myself. I’m not sure why, but I remember the details of this conversation vividly.

At the time, my response to her was probably pretty standard for many women, “I know. I just want to get through what’s on my to-do list right now and then I’ll take some time for myself.”

Her response to my poorly thought out plan has pretty much been playing on a constant loop every day since then. “But you’re always going to have a to-do list. When will enough finally be enough?” Sadly, the message didn’t quite sink in at the time. I left thinking, “yeah, BUT…”

Fast forward to about 5 years later, a second child, a lot more responsibility at my  office, and involvement in about a half dozen other organizations that I had since added to my plate.

Taking on too much wasn’t NEW for me by any means. I’ve always been one of those people who keeps busy. I’m a doer. I don’t really know what to do with myself if I’m not DOING something. I’m not really very good as just being. There are things to be done!

Last fall though, I looked back at how I had spent the first 6 months with my newborn and realized that I had let so much get in the way of just being with him. My last baby.

My maternity leave had consisted of conference calls and spreadsheets all while feeding or holding a newborn. Little man was about 6 weeks old when he attended his first HR meeting.

My recovery was SLOW. It was complicated. I was frustrated. Yes, I had just had a tiny human pulled from my body, but time doesn’t stop every time someone has a baby. There were things to be done.  No time for me. I had originally planned on originally trying to take 3 months off.  In the end, I gave up after about 2 and headed back to the office.

I lasted about 3 more before things really started to go downhill. At some point my husband and I were joking about our brains shrinking,  I was reading articles on the benefits of under scheduling my children, and at the same time trying to figure out how to volunteer for 3 organizations and maintain two side businesses during my “free time.”

When will enough be enough?

After A LOT of failed rationalization, I finally did it.  It was finally enough. I quit. I went on leave. I stepped back and/or took a break from every activity I was doing except for work and family.

It was hard. It IS hard. I have  let go of things that I really enjoyed. I’ve put things on hold that I really loved, really brought me happiness. Several of which I still miss very much. I don’t regret it though. I’ve learned a lot. I’m happier. I’m a better parent. Still trying to figure out how to take better care of myself, but not quite as concerned about how much of my life is being shortened.

How about you?  I’d love to hear how you have managed your happiness (sanity?) as priorities in life have changed. I need all the help I can get.