Up until this year I have been fairly apathetic towards US politics. I believe that most politicians are generally more concerned about their personal self interests (and those of the corporations and rich constituents that support them) than what is best for the people that they are representing – regardless of the side of the aisle they stand on. Earlier this month, however, when I woke up and heard the final result of a painfully long election season- I cried.

My heart broke when I heard that Donald Trump had officially been elected as the 45th President of the United States of America. Racism, misogyny, and xenophobia aren’t frowned upon in this country. They’re rewarded. They’re systemic.

Not everyone who voted for Trump should be considered a racist of course. There are genuinely great people who voted for this man despite his hateful rhetoric because they felt they had no better option. I know a lot of them. I struggled with the decision of who to vote for myself. But the fact remains, this man ran a campaign that pandered to those who DO fall into the racist, misogynist, and xenophobic categories. And a lot of people didn’t see a problem in that.

It dawned on me recently, that the two of you, as white males from an admittedly prosperous family, will likely never know the burden that millions of Americans represented in each of these groups carry with them. I can’t pretend to understand many of their burdens myself, but I can tell you that they deserve the right to live and love just as much as you and I.

As your mother, here is what I pray that you will someday understand …

You are privileged. Your father and I were/are too. We are white. We come from European decent. Most of the people in our family identify themselves as Christian. None of these facts make you better or more important than any other living soul on this earth.

It’s okay to love someone who doesn’t share your same beliefs. I do it on a daily basis… both within our own family and with so many wonderful people that I have had the privilege to meet. I’ve learned a lot from them. Many have had significant impacts on our lives. Just because someone may believe something different from you does not make them a bad person. Embrace differences. Teach tolerance.

Not everyone’s voice will command the same respect that yours will likely be inherently afforded. Don’t take advantage of this. Allow others to have a voice. There will be times when your opinion may be important. There will be others when it will not. You don’t have to be the loudest voice in the room, and you don’t always have to be right. There can be pride within humility. The two do not need to be mutually exclusive.

Don’t forget that your words can have a lifelong impact on someone. Use your voice to lift others up, not tear them down. If you don’t have something nice to say, question whether or not you really need to speak.

Just because you may not have experienced racism, sexism, xenophobia, etc…. does NOT mean that they are not a reality for millions of other people. Even if you never fully understand it, never minimize someone else’s reality. Listen to what they’re telling you. What can you do to stand up against the injustices their experiencing? Sometimes even the simple act of standing next to someone can make a difference.

Millions of people on this Earth do not have a safe place to call home, but are willing to risk their lives to find one. When you come across someone in need, don’t turn your back on them.

Not everyone has been/will be loved and supported the way that you have in your first few years of life on this Earth. This can have significant life-long impacts on a person. They still deserve to be treated with dignity, kindness, and grace. If they need lifting up, lift them up. If they need love, love them.

Not everyone in this world is given the same opportunities that you will be afforded in life. Your father and I work our asses off to ensure that you have every opportunity for success. We search for ways to help others better their own futures. We expect you to do the same.

Your country is unique. It can be great, but also remember that is flawed. Most importantly, it is not alone. Never forget that your country is one of many. Our world isn’t all that big, and there are so many thing happening outside the borders of your country that can, will, and should ignite your passion. It’s easy to do what is best for you…. for our country. I challenge you to seek what is best for everyone. Those things, the things that really make a difference, are rarely simple and hardly ever easy. They’re also usually the most important things to fight for.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”